as real as it gets

This is what is on my friends "about me" section on facebook. His name is Bob, we worked together for 3 years. He was my dispatcher. He made me a lot of money at one point. Apparently, he isn't to happy with life.

I am not a reflection of my FB blog. I'm an ever-changing entity that defies definition. In fact, the next time you read this it will probably have changed, and if it hasn't then you're reading my profile too much and I consider you a stalker. Having said that, I'm no big deal. I have the never-ending temp job that pays shit. After work I go home and watch TV or some DVD from Netflix, or argue with my wife over something trivial or mundane, which sometimes leads to heartache but mostly just fades into the background of my pathetic life. Very rarely do I go anywhere other than the grocery store or some other food venue. On the weekends I usually clean my apartment or go shopping with my wife. Sometimes I go out and hang with friends but only when they call me. I'm generally disappointed with people, including myself. I spend most of my time fighting with my wife. We usually break stuff. Basically, I'm on a downward spiral toward imminent self-destruction. My idea of fun is letting go of my problems and listening to music very loudly until my wife comes home and ruins it. Oh, and I like pictures of giant women.

growing up

I wigged out intensely last night. I have no idea where my head is at anymore, and it took an 18 year old child, lecturing me on life, as if she knows anything....to break me. She was right.

Thank God Kris saved me.

It would have been 4 years today!

But its not about you, or the past, or even the now. Its about me. I told you a thousand times you were my lobster....I guess I didn't know what real love felt like back then....or maybe I did, I just didn't know...and now I do. Its not about sex, phone calls, lavish gifts, flowers, myspace photos and labels...I can't explain it but I know where it is and how its supposed to look like. I'm the catalyst of it. I am it.


I'm happy, on a day I thought I would dread. Happier than I could have ever imagined.

Thursday August 13, 2009

Love hurts...

A broken nose and puffy lips couldn't keep me out of the bar. I can only imagine the cashiers face last night, when he saw me purchasing a 40 oz. I left a trail of blood. I am coming undone faster than river cuomo's sweater. I fell off my bike, literally, and figuratively. I licked my own wounds for the first time in a long time. I stared in the mirror for god knows how long. I have no job and I am short 250 bucks on rent.

I wanted to see the meteor shower. You told me it was Last night.

An ice cream sandwich was delivered to me at 630 pm. She was beautiful. I'll break every bone in my body, if I knew it would bring you to me. Did I mention I am lactose intolerant? It made me sick, but I could care less...I am careless. Im falling apart. Best summer ever. Ever....

FUCK THE DAYS!

<3 God I love the life.

Friday august 7, 2009

Sex Drugs & Wisconsin

Spent 3 days with my closet friends. Spent half the time drunk. Got 7 minutes in the closest with a girl I waited a year on. It's just warming up baby! In 4 hours I will be serving 8 hours of court ordered community service.



(here are some pictures)

Thursday August 6, 2009

Every attempt to get healthy is immediately halted by booze and women who like booze.
I just came back from wisconsin. I could write a book about the three days, but I'll just post the pics instead. Everything that I hoped could happen did happen.

Sunday August 2, 2009

Every girl I know is smitten by a boy. I thought I created a Utopia.
I'm still smitten by the world. It would take a lot to break my heart these days.